Hobart and William Smith Colleges

5 November 2019 When You Wish Upon a Star: When Mr. Rogers Came to HWS

The film A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, which premieres this November, is based on the true story of thefriendship between Fred Rogers L.H.D. 85 and journalist Tom Junod that began when Junod was assigned to profile the legendary host of Mister Rogers Neighborhood. When Rogers died in 2003, Junod wrote in his eulogy that once you entered into Freds life, well, there was no doubt that he would enter into yours.

While many in the HWS community grew up with Mr. Rogers, he officially entered the Colleges community in 1985, when he delivered the Commencement address and was awarded an honorary degree.

The graduating classes cheered as Rogers was introduced, asAssistant Director of First-Year Seminars Susan Hess 85 recalls.Apiano had been wheeled onto the steps of Coxe Hall,she says so thatRogerscould sing the songs wovenintohis speech, accompanying himself as he did so.

Rogers told the Classes of 1985:I dont know your wishes or your hopes. Nobody but you and the people you care to share them with should know them. Wishes are sometime as grand and far beyond the reality of the present, but other wishers are intimate. Theyre about simple things of daily life expressed again and again in contacts with other persons around us. I trust that youll feel good enough about yourself to do all you can to help the best of your wishes come true.

When you wish upon a star . . . Why, there are whole galaxies that we havent even discovered yet, stars way out in space within ourselves that are patiently waiting to brighten up our world, Rogers said.

When he finished his address, Hess says,the crowd gave him a standing ovation.

Read the full transcript below.

Fred Rogers HWS Commencement Address
May 26, 1985
Geneva, New York

One evening last week, as I sat at the piano, I began to play a song almost without thinking. Little by little, the words came to me, and I realized I had known that song for many years. It was called When You Wish Upon a Star, and it begins by saying:

When you wish upon a star,

Makes no difference who you are,

Anything your heart desires

Will come to you.

If your heart is in your dream,

No request is too extreme.

When you wish upon a star,

Your dreams come true.

I remember when I first heard that song (quoted from Walt DisneysPinocchio). I had such a warm, wonderful feeling. To think that wishing on anything would make things come true was such a splendid idea to me. I had lots of wishes! And lots of Dreams!

As I sat there the other night, playing that song and thinking those words, it dawned on me how important it was that all my wishes and all my dreams had not come true, but it was equally important that some of them actually had. And I wondered about the difference. Why didnt I become a concert pianist? Or a vegetarian? Why didnt I learn shorthand or the Japanese language or get to be a commercial pilot? Those were all things I had wished for, years ago. In fact, I probably wished on more stars for those things than I ever wished to be in television.

What does make the difference between wishing and realizing our wishes? Lots of things, of course, but the main one, I think, is whether we link our wishes to our hopes and our hopes to our active striving. It might take months or years for a wish to come true, but its far more likely to happen when you care so much about it that youll do all you can to make it happen.

At some point in your life some of you must have wished to be college graduates. Well, by now you know what it took to make that wish come true and so do your parents and your teachers and your friends!

When I was a freshman in college, I met someone who knew a very famous songwriter. That songwriter was a person, I had always wanted to meet ever since I was a little boy. I was convinced that if I could just play my songs (I think I had five) that songwriter would introduce me to Tin Pan Alley and I would be an instant, successful composer of show tunes.

I was able to get an interview with that man, and I remember so well going to New York City and, all the way, thinking: This is it. Id probably have to give up college and get an apartment in the city, and my parents would be so proud of me, and before long my five songs would be sung by millions of Broadway show-goers.

Thats not what happened. The composer was very welcoming to me. He asked me to play a couple of those original songs for him, and he listened intently while I played them and sang the words as well as I could. When I was finished, he said, Very nice, Fred. Now, how many songs have you written? I told him five, and I had brought them all.

Then he said something very important to me and to my whole life. He said, Id like you to come back after youve written a barrelful and well talk again.

Well, you can imagine how I felt. A barrelful would be hundreds of songs and I only had five. But his counsel was exceedingly important. He knew that if I really wanted to be a songwriter, Id have to write songs, not just think about the five I had written. Even though I never got to see that man again, I have, through the years, written a barrelful of songs.

In fact, the barrels overflowing now. One of them speaks to just what weve been talking about, since our superb musical director and pianist, John Costa, is with us today, Id like to give you that sing right now. You know it was written for little children, but there are things about it, I think, that can apply to us all. Its called Youve Got to Do It.

You can make believe it happens,

Or pretend that somethings true.

You can wish or hope or contemplate

A thing youd like to do.

But until you start to do it,

You will never see it through,

Cause the make-believe

Pretending just wont do it for you.

Chorus

Youve got to do it.

Every little bit,

Youve got to do it,

Do it, do it, do it.

And when youre through,

You can know you did it,

For you did it, you did it,

You did it.

If you want to ride a bicycle

And ride it straight and tall,

You cant simply sit and look at it

Cause it wont move at all.

But its you who have to try it

And its you who have to fall (sometimes).

If you want to ride a bicycle

And ride it straight and tall.

Chorus

If you want to wear a cap and gown

And get your B.A. too,

You cant simply sleep the whole long day

And party all night through.

Cause its you who have to study.

Yes, its you no one else but you,

If you want to wear a cap and gown

And get your B.S. too.

Chorus

Its not easy to keep trying

But its one good way to grow.

Its not easy to keep learning,

But I know that this is so.

When youve tried and learned

Youre bigger then you were a day ago.

Its not easy to keep trying,

But its one way to grow.

Chorus

Johnny Costas music has been an inspiration to me for years, and I just wonder: Johnny, would you play something that might be a variation on that tune? Id just like to hear you play.

(John Costa plays variations on Youve Got to Do It.)

Now, John Costa could have wished for years to be able to play like that. But if he hadnt actually put his fingers on the keys of his first piano and started to play, he would have never been able to bring us what he does today.

Of course, theres more to it than putting two fingers on the keys. The real learning takes real teaching. In fact, when were working toward the realization of our wishes, some of our greatest strengths come from our alliance with people who care about us and about whom we care.

Johnny didnt learn to play the piano by himself. I didnt produce 30 years of television programs alone. People dont graduate from college without the collaboration and support of other [people who are close to them.

But what about the wishes that dont come true?

I remember a woman who all of a sudden one day said, Im never going to be a circus clown. It just dawned on her that, because she hadnt gone to clown school and made some other choices and hadnt really tried, her girlhood wish for becoming a clown wasnt going to come resignation: Im never going to be a circus clown.

I know another woman who remembers the time when she knew that her wish to be married and have children would not be realized. She remembers the struggle of the final resignation and then she remembers the outcome of that resignation. Enormous energies were available to her, which she used in developing uniquely creative work with young parents.

All through our lives there are resignations of wishes. As children, once we learn to walk, we must resign ourselves to not being a baby anymore. If we just want to be taken care of and not make any effort to grow and do more and more for ourselves, then we can avoid that resignation and just stay a baby. You may know some adults who are still babies. They want to be served all the time. How sad for them, not to have been able to experience the excitement of growing from one part of life to another!

In fact, you can see the excitement in children. As a child grows from creeping to standing up and walking, that child usually has very little speech development or other aspects of the toddlers development. Its as though all of that childs energies are bound into that huge task of getting up and walking. Once that task is accomplished, once theyre on their own two feet, they get this exciting surge of development in other areas. Its as if they are obsessed with that one task and, until its accomplished, they cant concentrate on anything else. Thats an enormous human task: standing upright and walking on our own two feet!

That doesnt mean that there arent some resting places along the way of our becoming. There is permissible rest and regression in everyones lives. Some people call it R and R. I think of it as an important moment when we reflect and receive. In our competitive world, some might call such times a waste. Ive learned that they can be the preamble to periods of enormous growth. I sometimes sing about that to childrenbut, as you know, I believe that theres a child somewhere in each of us. Id like to sing Please Dont Think Its Funny.

Sometimes you feel like holding your pillow all night long;

Sometimes you hug your teddy bear tightly,

Hes old but hes still strong.

And sometimes you want to snuggle up closely

With your own mom and dad.

At night, you even need the light sometimes,

But thats not bad.

Chorus

Please dont think its funny,

When you want an extra kiss.

There are lots and lots of people

Who sometimes feel like this.

Please dont think its funny,

When you want the ones you miss.

Where are lots and lots of people

Who sometimes feel like this.

Its great to know youre growing bigger every day.

But somehow things you like to remember

Are often put away.

And sometimes you wonder over and over

If you should stay inside,

When you enjoy a younger toy . . .

You never need to hide.

In the long, long trip of growing

There are stops along the way,

For thoughts of all the soft things

And a look at yesterday.

For a chance to fill our feelings,

With comfort and with ease,

And then tell the new tomorrow,

You can come now when you please.

Chorus

So please dont think its funny . . . .

I know of a young man who is just about to graduate from high school. His name is Keith. When he was ten years old, his beloved grandfather became ill. This grandfather had always helped Keith to feel special: They had fished together and camped together and talked about all sorts of things together, and when his grandfather became sick, Keith wanted him to get better. He watched the doctor and helped his grandfather take his pills. His grandfather told him he was good at that in fact, his grandfather thought he was good at a lot of things.

Thats why, when his grandfather died two years later, Keith was sad and angry all at once. But his grandfather had loved him enough and was comfortable enough with him that he could talk to Keith about death and how that happens to all living creatures and that the important thing is how we care for people while theyre alive.

From that time Keith was 12 years old, he was sure he wanted to become a doctor. He has been first in all of his science courses in high school, and has been accepted at a college that has a fine pre-med course. To the loss of his grandfather, but also to the love which helps immobilize all of his feelings toward constructive resolutions.

In eight or ten more years, Keith will probably become a doctor. He says he wants to be a family doctor. My hunch is that he will be. His wish has become a purpose which is grounded in hope.

How very important our wishes can be our wishes which become our purposes. Your colleges are known for your purposeful wishing. Administrators and Boards of trustees respect your student longings for a better world. They know that sometimes you have to stand firm in pursuit of your wishes, even though other people may disagree. Standing firm for what you are convinced to be healthy and good is one of the hardest things in life, especially when you want so much not to hurt anybody. Martin Luther King had a dream and so did Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and those dreams were based on a wish and a hope for a new and better world. They stood firm, and they made a great difference and so have many others.

Teilhard de Chardin writes that someone scrawled the following words on the bulletin board of that great Notre Dame Cathedral: Le monde demain appartiendra a ceux qui lui ont apporte la plus grande Esperance (The world tomorrow will belong to those who brought it the greatest hope).

I dont know your wishes or your hopes. Nobody but you and the people you care to share then with should know them. Wishes are sometime as grand and far beyond the reality of the present, but other wishers are intimate. Theyre about simple tings of daily life expressed again and again in contacts with other persons around us. I trust that youll feel good enough about yourself to do all you can to help the best of your wishes come true.

When you wish upon a star . . . Why, there are whole galaxies that we havent even discovered yet, stars way out in space within ourselves that are patiently waiting to brighten up our world.

I wanted to be with you today because I know that many of you grew up with the Neighborhood, and Im so proud of the way youve grown. Id like to give you one last song for a Commencement present you and Marvin Bram and everyone else who wanted to share this special day with us. That song is called Its You I Like.

Its you I like,

Its not the things you wear.

Its not the way you do your hair

But its you I like.

The way you are right now,

They way down deep inside you

Not the things that hide you,

(Not your diplomas

Theyre just beside you).

But its you I like,

Evry part of you,

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings,

Whether old or new.

I hope that youll remember

Even when youre feeling blue,

That its you I like,

Its you yourself, its you.

Its you I like!